A Case For Remaining Child-less

Tracy Martinez
3 min readOct 12, 2021

I don’t think want them…yet or maybe even at all.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

I have heard it all. I have thought about children and now is not the time to bring another life into my world.

“They will bring purpose to your life. They will make you feel whole. Why work so hard if you won’t have anyone to leave things to.”

Yeah. No. Well, I don’t know.

Having children was something I didn’t really think about. I was focused on growing my career, finishing college, rescuing animals. Children did not fit on that list. I accomplished everything I could ever have wanted.

Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash

Then, I met my Husband. I was ready to date and It felt like the perfect time. We were dating for about 6 months before people asking me if I wanted children. They never asked him. Men never get asked when they want kids unless its asked in front of their spouse. Most of the time its because curious minds wonder when it will happen as if the constant barrage of the same question will make a child come sooner.

Children are money pits. I say this all while knowing that I myself am someone’s child. I know for a fact that raising a child is expensive because I now can see it with my nieces and nephews and the extensive list of school supplies they get every year along with the amount of clothes they go through as well.

The actual carrying of a child isn’t easy either. Lots of people have kids every year with no issues its true, but for some, pregnancy can mean life or death. I am cognizant of the fact that I would love my child with every fiber of my being but I am not sure if the maternal instinct or desire skipped a generation. Don’t get my wrong I think I’m a pretty decent aunt to all my nieces and nephews. I am just not sure my heart yearns for children the way it does for others.

It shouldn’t have to but it would be nice to have a choice without outside feedback.

As a woman, I shouldn’t feel pressured to have children. Yet, I do constantly. I am at a place in my life where I can acknowledge that and be okay with how things are turning out because I am proud of how far I have come. There is still so much work to do and I look forward to improving every single day.

I hope if I do end up having children that they read this and understand this.

Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

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Tracy Martinez

Writer. Fur Momma. Feminist. Coffee Addict. Backspacing Machine.