Happier Than Ever

You were my everything

Photo by Autumn Mott Rodeheaver on Unsplash

This is for all the times that I fought to make you feel understood and loved. I could not do something for you that you weren’t able to do for yourself.

I could not make you see your worth when you did not see it yourself. I couldn’t keep trying to make you believe in yourself, only you could do that.

I could not make you see that I truly cared about you as a person and as a lover despite all my efforts.

I could walk away when everything felt like it was crumbling around me and I wouldn’t allow myself to be stuck on a sinking ship.

I feel small moments of happiness often now. It may not be everyday but slowly as the days go by I feel more and more of them.

I can see colors again and smell the flowers in the garden we planted out in front of our house.

I admit that at this moment I am writing from a place of rage. I am enraged by the fact that I invested time into a person who could not see my worth and didn’t choose me. I say didn’t choose me because their actions spoke volumes of the lack of respect, love, any semblance of a feeling towards me. I hate that they don’t care. I HATE that I still care. You were my everything at one point. We were building a life together.

I was building a life for us.

I’m sorry. I never wanted this to be how our story ended but it is the reality we have to face. I still cry when I listen to “Dos Orugitas” but the tears are ones that sting with all the happy memories we have. I am eternally grateful for what we shared because it has led us to this moment.

Things can only go up from here.