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Lessons My Dad’s Cancer Taught Me
We survived 2020. Not many did because of COVID-19. It changed the world as we knew it.
COVID hit my dad pretty bad and just when we all thought we were in the clear his doctor recommended he take a stool test (yes the fun kind where you collect your own poop and mail it back in a little baggy) and the results were that he had blood in it.
Fast forward a few weeks later where he had his colonoscopy done and the results were that he had cancer — they resected a piece of his colon and we kept on trucking. Throughout the course of these last few months, he started treatment, battled with being hungry, tired, frustrated, and sad. Our emotions have been all over the place as well but that is secondary.
Some of the things I have learned and am continuing to learn throughout this process are as profound as I can put into words right now on very few hours of sleep.
1. Allow yourself to feel
Cry when your emotions hit you- sometimes in waves and sometimes in hurricanes. They can feel like they are drowning you but if you suppress them then you will only hurt yourself in the long run. Be cliché and listen to all the sad songs you can or don’t there is honestly no proper way to grieve your old life and your new normal but suppressing things only makes things worse. At least that’s what my therapist says.
2. Ask and you shall receive.
Talk to your loved ones. Ask the uncomfortable questions and have the tough conversations. All it takes is about 30 seconds of bravery to know some truths that could resolve a myriad of personal issues. We know that some people don’t have great relationships with their dads because dads can sometimes be very simple people and only ask about how your car is running- thanks dad. My dad is unlike them. He has his moments where he does simple dad things but for the most part he shares his feelings and thoughts with us. His cancer diagnosis may have closed him up a bit but it took us talking to him and just saying “Hey, I know things are changing and fast but you need to talk to us about what’s going on” and it worked.
